The Insane Lane Band - Nothing Fancy Track 1 - I Want My Foreskin Back I read an article about how males lose 50% of the feeling in their penis after circumcision. That was all I needed to know. I thought about how great it would be to have all that extra feeling - not to mention the time management issue. Think of everything you could get done if that didn't take so long! I know the women probably don't want to see their man with any more feeling - most of them probably don't last long enough as it is. Track 2 - Steak and Blowjob Day I read about this and thought what a great idea! I mean let's face it, Valentines Day is really more for the ladies. So why not have a day for the men one month later - March 14. It will not be complicated. Just a simple T-Bone steak and a BJ. Once a year is not to much to ask. Track 3 - She's Got Everything a Man Like Me Wants Except... A love song for my wife. She is a great woman and mother -everything I had hoped for. She's just a little light on top. Track 4 - The Ballad of Gerald the Gerbil A short but not very sweet story about the life of a furry little rodent who finds himself in the wrong hands and butt. Gerald is about to meet his destiny... and the moral of the story - don't put your pets up your ass! Track 5 - I'm Not Doing Anything Fancy True story. I would beg for sex but my wife was not in the mood. I would keep on begging and was really pathetic. She would finally give in to my whining but would always say 'okay, I'll do it but I'm not doing anything fancy'. That basically meant she was just going to lay there and tell me to hurry up. It would ruin the mood for a moment but what the hell, sex is sex. The 'cover me up when your done' line at the end was courtesy of my sister-in-law who found herself in similar situations. Track 6 - Sex After 40 I noticed a little change in sexual priorities as I got older. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted sex I was just pre-occupied with what was on ESPN Sportscenter. The remedy at the end of the song should help your love life. Track 7 - Cameltoe The girl from Idaho with really tight pants. Personally, I like a woman who wears her vagina on the outside of her pants - much easier access. Note: If a guy wears his pants to tight it is called Frog Eyes. Track 8 - Wrong Hole You're having an intimate night and just as things get hot you make the most unromantic, mis-directed move. A real mood killer for the women. Ouch! Chalk this one up to poor focus in the bedroom. Thanks to JV (aka Mice Nuts) for his help with some alternative words for 'dick'. Track 9 - My Vasectomy True story about my ordeal - not sure why it was so difficult for me when everyone else I knew had no problem. It's not meant to scare anyone away. It was the best investment I ever made - there were just some minor complications. Track 10 - Perverts Need Love I thought it would be helpful for the rest of society to understand the inner complexities of a perverted mind. We are completely harmless. We just think a little different - dirty words are funny!
You May Also Like
Page 1 of