Some things are born in strands, like hair, DNA and guitar strings. Two out of three isn't bad. So I'm bald. So what? If people would stop making an issue of it, I wouldn't have to spend this valuable CD Baby selling space on a soapbox. I'll step off it now. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. I like being bald. It is very fuel efficient, in this age of escalating gas prices. Crude oil is $68.40 a barrel as I write this, according to Bloomberg, whoever that is, whatever that means. But I don't care. The aerodynamic qualities of my head increase fuel efficiency. I have a green 1978 Honda Scooter known as The Hopper. When I ride, I wear a sleek black helmet that makes me look like the Great Gazoo on the Flintstones. The redundancy is striking. I've got a pretty hard head. A bald one. Sleek. Dinner's Club, baby. Apartment is just 20 minutes long. It's pretty aerodynamic. If you've read this far, I must say I appreciate your attention, which is at least as valuable as crude oil. Speaking of crude, well, I won't go there. But I will thank you for your attention.
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