The year was nineteen hundred and seventy nine. There was a mighty and terrific storm brewing in the Pacific. It swept across the land, eastward, becoming greater and more impudent to settle it's fury in Carolina. As the initial bolt of lightning struck down, six after the evening hour of ten, on the sixth day of October, in this foul year of our lord; two boys were given unto a virgin mother in the name of The Guitar, The Drums, and The Whole Beat Notes. Later, that very evening, they were visited by three wise men who brought them gifts of: Salvia, Ergot, and PBR. And the lord spoke to them all; 'Hark! And behold, and stuff! These two have been chosen as my rock. Give them these instruments with which to rock.' And the lord sent down a set of drums and a guitar, and the boys played the drums and the guitar, and the lord listened, and it was good. And the lord spoke; 'They shall play this noise with melody for all of the land in harmony, and they shall call themselves 'Labia Minor', for that name is cool with the lord.' When the time had come and Labia Minor were in their adult years they went out and spoke to the masses saying; 'we're on stage, got our booze, turn down the lights' and they brought great joy to all that had listened to the melodic, dirty, rock, noise; while healing some of those blinded and deafened by the imagery over substance bands, and healing those sick and afflicted with the bullshit music scene. It was then that they decided to travel across the land to spread their music, Labia Minor stickers, and CD's to the poor and needy.
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